I have this ideology and belief that we are all mirrors. Seeing as that there is no true way for us to take a mirror and look inside ourselves to see who we are as people, we use others. We all look to others to get a clear view of who we are. Your family is used as a mirror to see how you relate to those close to you. Your friends are used to see how you relate to those with common interests. The most important mirror however, is one the you have with your mate.
The reason being is, you choose this mirror and it chooses you. Out of all the people who could reflect who you are in this world on a level that a friend or a relative could never do, you select one person. You confide in this person. Learn to trust this person. Grow with this person. You use this person as a mirror to reaffirm who you feel you are. Honestly, if you get to lazy, you can grow so reliant on said mirror, that you allow them to define you altogether.
You tell this mirror your truths and expect it does the same for you, but what happens when your mirror is a liar? What’s your next step when you find out that, although you’ve been truthful, your mirror has not. You’ve told your uncut truth and your mirror has been feeding you whatever they deemed most suitable in order to ensure you will continue to reflect for them. What do you do with all the new perspective you’ve gained over time, by virtue of this mirror you selected? Everything you thought and believed not only about yourself, but about the world around you is now subject to sudden question because the proxy by which you filter things was tainted.
You are then forced to abruptly look into yourself for your own self definition, but here’s the issue…you just took all of this time practicing and working on how to have this mirror reflect for you, thinking it would be a long time arrangement. So what do you do when the mirror you chose decides you’re no longer the mirror for them? What’s the protocol for when your mirror decides they no longer want to reflect for you?
To be honest with you, i haven’t the slightest idea. I find it easy to unseat time spent and emotions gained if I can label it fraudulent. Problem with this is, it’s harder to gauge who you actually are without the mirror until you spend serious time self defining. Hopefully you can keep in mind your self definition when you employ the assistance of a mirror again. If you get lucky, it might actually be true to you.
So hello world, my name is Dontell, most folks call me Dame,
and I’m still looking for my mirror.
Phat assed white girl.