Hate the fact that I expected something other than what I knew you would be. I let my mind underestimate what I knew I would see. Your complaint was that I was caged, and my response was that I had a good reason You expressed love and my dumb ass ignored what I knew and tried to believe it.
Told me I was this and I was that, regarded me so high. But in time truth shot down every lie you let fly.
From day one, with you, all I did was keep it real. What’s fucked up is that in ex-change, you didn’t give it back a bill
Tryna to depreciate my worth to you to help cover your actions. Worked at first, but as it sat with me, I decided to question your tactic.
I mean I can’t mean the world today and be city important tomorrow. Fuck who you fucked, I was more hurt that you intentionally brought me sorrow. Compounded with the thoughts of my ex, the shit was overbearing. And all the while I felt genius like, cause I didn’t try deeply caring.
No I didn’t love you, but I never threw out false facts.
And when you were at your lowest I didn’t think to turn my back. So when I said I needed help with stress coping, thinking you would sit and listen, You proved me wrong by saying you weren’t right for the position.
Had me feeling mad small, like I ain’t worthy or something. For about an hour and a half I sat next to depression and feeling like nothing Gave you a call, main goal: get reasons for your new approach to me. At first you purposely failed attempts to try and explain vocally.
But you slipped and mentioned potential care for me, but where was the proof. Then I had to wait as you exposed your motivation for covering up the truth. You said I deserved better than you, and that your new approach would force it. Didn’t buy it, cause you don’t go through all this shit to play in the game to forfeit.
I admit, I was shook up, I thought your truth would shock me. Heart beating fast, hands shaking, the suspense sorta rocked me. Your revelation was met with a stale face, when you told what you protected. You didn’t want me to change my perception of you cause of your sexual indiscretions?
So you hurt me to save you? Ma I’m sorry that’s not what love do. How you moved around woulda crushed me,
So it’s a blessing I didn’t love you!
I knew exactly who you were and trying to Ray Charles preconceptions almost got me hurt. I hope ruining any trust I had for you was what covering up the truth was worth. And then they ask me why I’m caged, this only made the barriers grow strong. It’s because pleasure is temporary and certain pains last too long.
I still love you and it hurts the fact that you can be with any guy now. I can’t believe I let you go… Every day with you was an adventure. Every kiss from you was like a kiss from an angel. I’ve grown so attach to you I actually don’t know what to do now since you’ve been gone. You haunt my mind…